How to interpret a lager advert?

Have you recently seen a beer advert?

Below are translations of the common words in those:

'Fine' = Thin
'Smooth' = Tasteless
'Refreshing' = Higher water content
'Original' = Existed before 2005
'Traditionally made' = We add as much (corn) syrup as we did in 70's
'Satisfying' = Drink enough and you won't care any more
'The Best' = More something (e.g. yellow) than the rest
'Probably the best' = Not quite as yellow as the rest